


James Madison & Coffee

by orphan_account



Series: The Federalist Papers But With Coffee [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Era, M/M, hamilton is insane, hamilton is talking shit, lots of coffee, madison should not have that much coffee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:26:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26253367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The Federalist Papers but with coffee.
Relationships: Jeffmads maybe - Relationship, Thomas Jefferson/James Madison
Series: The Federalist Papers But With Coffee [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1927549
Kudos: 26





	James Madison & Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> There will be two parts to this, Hamilton's and this one. They will both mention John Jay, but his part would be pretty boring.

According to what he’s heard from Secretary Jefferson, Hamilton and Madison had a coffee competition again, challenged this time by John Jay, who apparently got sick after having five. He went home. Madison seems to have been able to have more, had Hamilton not been so accomplished in the art of drinking 2 coffee pots at once. However, it falls to him and Jefferson to take care of Hamilton and Madison, respectively. He thinks Hamilton will be okay.  
Madison seems to be a different story. From what he’s heard from other members of Congress, Madison has built a wall of books around him in a corner around a small desk, and is writing furiously. But he keeps moving from corner to corner, especially when people approach him.

“Jefferson! We’ve found Madison!” says a Senator who appears to be Mr. William Bradford.  
“Great! Where is he?” asks Jefferson.  
“Burr, Hamilton should be in his office,” Bradford calls.  
Burr nods once. “Thank you, Senator Bradford.” Burr hurries to Hamilton’s office, disappearing inside. Jefferson hears yelling from Hamilton. Something about how “BURR HAS NO OPINIONS!” and “HOW CAN WE TRUST SOMEONE WITH NO OPINIONS?” He laughs to himself, finding Madison just around the corner.  
“Mads, can you get out here? We need to get you something other than caffeine.” Madison hisses and it is the cutest thing he’s ever heard. “Mads, that was cute. Can you get out? Burr is trying to get Hamilton out of his office and it is the funniest thing. Do you want to watch?”  
Madison hisses again, and Jefferson hopes that Madison can sleep tonight. Suddenly, Burr shows up at his side, swearing profusely. “Hamilton is a little shit on coffee. Tell Washington to ban coffee.”  
“Great idea. I hope they will be able to sleep tonight. Do you have NyQuill? That might help.”  
“They’ll crash soon.”  
“I hope. But small people stay up for days until they crash. We need NyQuill. Get Washington.” Burr leaves, returning with Washington. They don’t talk; Burr and Washington have never agreed on anything.  
“Jefferson, what happened?” askes the President; how he got to be President, Jefferson didn’t know.  
“John Jay challenged Madison and Hamilton to a coffee drink-off. He got sick, and the competition was down to just Madison and Hamilton. Hamilton is currently screaming crap about those he doesn’t like, and Madison…” ends Jefferson, pointing to Madison, who is looking up at them, seeming to wonder if he can go back to writing.  
“We’re banning coffee from The White House. Bring your own. You can have coffee, but it will not be made here. I don’t want this to happen again,” says George Washington, shaking his head. “Madison, you can go back to writing.” Madison nods and begins writing again. “Now, I have a treasury secretary to visit.”


End file.
